double meaning jokes

Suhagaraat ko PATI apni PATNI se
SEX karte hue puchhata hai..
Kya mahsoos kar rahi ho, Jaaneman?
PATNI: Kya bataaun Dear!!!
Yahi ki aaj tak main TOP-UP me hi
apna kaam chala rahi thi,
aaj se life-Time karva liya hai

GF and BF jokes on whats app

Girl friend ne khaas aapne boy friends ke liye likha:

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…

Jab tu 11:30 baje so jata hai,
To agle din subah tera whatsapp
last seen at 2:30am kyun batata hai..?

Baba ji ki Kripa

Ek aadmi ki shaadi ko 20 saal ho gaye the..

Usne kabhi Patni ke hath ke bane khane ki tareef nahin ki.
baba ne salah di Patni ke khane ki tareef karo, Kripa hogi!

Baba ki salah asar kar gayi!
Ghar aate hi usne khana kha kar Parantho ki jam kar tareef ki!

Patni ne belan uthaya aur usko jee bhar kar peetne ke baad boli:
20 saal mein kabhi mere hath ke bane khane ki tareef nahi kii, aur aaj padosan ne paranthe bhej diye, to tumhe zindagi ka mazaa aa gaya!!

Ho gayi baba ki kripa… bechara husband

Girl at Medical Shop Funny

Ek sundar ladki ek dawaiyo ki dukaan ke saamne kaafi se tak khadi thi!

Bheed chhatne ka intezaar kar rahi thi.

Shop ka owner use shaq ki nazar se ghoor raha tha…

bahut der baad jab dukaan mein koi customer nahin bacha,
To wo ladki dukaan mein aayi!

Ek salesman ko dheere se ek kinaare bulaya,
Dukaan ka malik ab aur bhi jyada chaukanna ho gaya.

Ladki ne dheere se ek kagaj salesman ki aur badhaya,
aur Dheere se fusfusayi…

“Bhaiya,

Meri ek Doctor ke sath shaadi tay ho gayi hai,
Aaj unki chitthi aayi hai,
Thoda padhkar sunayenge kya?
Writing samjh mein nahin aa rahi hai!!!

Hindi Whatsapp Status and Messages, Jokes

1) Padhna-likhna tyag de mitra, nakal se rakh aas.
Odh rajai so ja beta, rab krega pass… :P

2) Dil kahta hai ki tu pass hai, waah-waah…
Lekin Notice board par likha hai ki tu fail hai :P

3) Main sirf ye sochkr paper khali chhod aata hu ki
Kahi teacher yeh na kahe ki bado ko jwab deta hai :P

4) Exam ka khouf, tarapta student, shaitani books,
Result wala jin, neend ki mout, pyasa examiner…….
Ssshhh result aane wala hain.  :P

5) Ye exam ka rishta bhi ajib hota hai, sab apna apna naseeb hota hai,
Reh jata hai jo nigaho se dur, wahi question compulsory ho jata hai. :P

6) Keh do un padhne walo se, kabhi hum bhi padha karte the,
Jitna syllabus padh k wo top krte hai, utna tu hm choice pr chhor dia karte the. :P

Doctor and second opinion. Whats app messages

The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’

Boy or Girl Confused? Whatsapp Messages

A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl?
B: It’s a girl. She’s my daughter.
A: Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t know that you were her father.
B: I’m not. I’m her mother.

Doctor and Pagal Jokes whatapp messages

Ek Bahut Bada Doctor Mental Hospital Mein Round Ke Liye Jata Hai,

Wahaan Pagalon Ka Checkup Karte Hue Usne Ek Pagal Ko Dekha Jo Chup Chaap Baitha Tha

Doctor Ke Man Mein Na Jane Kya Aya Usne Paagal Se Puchha

Doctor: Tum Pagal Kyun Hue?

Pagal Rote Hue Bola: Maine Ek Vidhva Se Shaadi Ki, Par Uski Ek Jawan Beti Thi Usko Dekh Ke Mere Baap Ne Us Se Shaadi Kar Dali,

Aise Meri Wo Beti Meri Maan Ban Gayi, Fir Un Ke Ghar Beti Hui, To Wo Meri Bahan Hui Magar Main Uski Naani Ka Pati Tha,

Is Liye Wo Meri Nawasi Bhi Hui Isi Tarha Mera Beta Hua Jo Apni Daadi Ka Bhai Ban Gaya Aur Main Apne Bete Ka Bhanja,

Aur Mera Baap Mera Damaad Ban Gaya, Aur Mera Beta Apne Dada Ka Sala Ban Gaya Aur

Doctor Cheekhte Hue: Abey Chup Kar Sale Mujhe Bhi Pagal Kerega Kya?

Doctor patient chutkule

Doctor to Patient: You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient: Yes. A Good Doctor.

Doctor patient ko: Tum 2 ghante mai maar jaoge. Tum kisi ko tumhare pehle marte dekhna chhoge
Patient: Haa, acha doctor.

Doctor nurse chutkule, nurse is cute

Ek sundar nurse interview ke liye aayi
Doctor: kya salary chahiye?
Nurse 10 hazar
Doctor khush ho ke: Mai khush hua
Nerse: Khushi ke saath 25 hazar.

A Cute Nurse came 4 the interview.
Doctor: What salary do U expect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Doctor was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With Pleasure its 25,000.