Wife jokes in hindi. Patni and home

पत्नी घर की रानी है
करती अपनी मनमानी है
काम बताओ तो चिड जाएगी
शॉपिंग कराओ तो खिल जायेगी!

ODD EVEN FOrmula to Stop Rapes

रिपोर्टर: सर आप दिल्ली में बढ़ रहे rape की घटनाओ को कैसे रोकोगे?

केजरी सर जी:
कुछ नहीं जी बस एक दिन पुरुष बाहर निकलेगे और दुसरे दिन सिर्फ महिलाये!

Badam vs Dhoke khane mai??

बादाम खाने से अक्ल आती है.

धोके खाने से भी अक्ल आती है,….

तो सोचो बादाम धो के खाने से कितनी अक्ल आती होगी? 

Kutta Bikau hai (Dog for sell)

एक दुकान के बाहर लिखा था: 'इन्सानों की तरह बात करने वाला कुत्ता बिकाऊ है.' एक आदमी दुकानदार से जाकर बोला: 'मैं उस कुत्ते को देखना चाहता हूं...' दुकानदार ने कहा: 'साथ के कमरे में बैठा है, जा कर मिल लो।' ग्राहक उस कमरे में गया। कुर्सी पर एक हट्टा-कट्टा कुत्ता बैठा था. पूछा: 'क्यों भई, तुम यहां क्या कर रहे हो?' कुत्ते ने बताया: 'कर तो मैं बहुत कुछ सकता हूं, लेकिन आजकल इस दुकान की रखवाली करता हूं. इससे पहले अमेरिका के जासूसी महकमे में काम करता था और कई खूंखार आतंकवादियों को पकड़वाया... फिर मैं इंग्लैंड चला गया जहां पुलिस के लिए मुखबरी करता था. एक साल बाद यहां आ गया.' उस आदमी ने दुकानदार से पूछा: 'इतने गुणवान कुत्ते को आप बेचना क्यों चाहते हैं?' 'अव्वल नम्बर का झूठा है...' जवाब मिला.

One Liner Jokes 140 words.

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!

Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!

Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild?
A: a $100 bill!

Q: Whats long and hard and has cum in it?
A: a cucumber

Q: How do you kill a circus clown?
A: Go for the juggler! 

Correct the Words.

Unscramble these words!
1.) PNEIS
2.) HTIELR
3.) NGGERI
4.) BUTTSXE

Did you get SPINE, LITHER, GINGER and SUBTEXT?

Harini: Monkey Eating Banana

Harini realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said: "That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair." the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister: "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said: "That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas." 

Indians HAPPY JANMASTAMI IN ADVANCE

HAPPY JANMASTAMI IN ADVANCE
Bcoz KABIR JI ne kaha tha,
Kal kare so aaj kar,aaj kare so ab..
Pal mai JANAMASHTMI aayegi,
Fir tu wish karega kab???

Reservation in Gujrat India

Gujrat itna pichda rajya hai ki,
Reservation magne par log AUdi, Mercedez mai baithkar aate haii. :))

Ladki ne Ladke Pucha Question?

1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,"Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?" Ladka bola,"JI BHABHI JI!"

Girl Girl and Boy Boy Talkings?

GirL to another girl: "You are beautiful''
Other girl: "Thank you, you are beautiful too"
&
BOY to another boy: "You are handsome"
Other boy: "Tu Gay to nahi hai na saale?"

Ganda Bacha Apne Baap Se Question Puchta?

Extra Kameena ßacha!
Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?
Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?
Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me sirf 5 month ka fark hai

Wife husbund suhagrath sms

Suhaag Raat me Wife :
Muje Gabhrahat ho rahi Hai..
Husband : Tumhari PehLi Raat hai na IsLiye ?
Wife : Nahi Ji Raat me Pehli Baar hai IsLiye.

Munnabhai and Principal Jokes

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya
toh first time 100 Rs fine,
2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Teacher and student Jokes in Hindi

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai
to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

Sunny Leone Business Jokes

A Little boy asks to Sunny Leone :-
Aunty ji, you have a Bungalow,
a Car, Bank balance, Nauker-Chaaker..,
Aap karti Kya Hai..??
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Sunny Leone replies:-
Bas Beta, Ek Chhota sa ‘HOLE-SALE’ ka Business hai

Suhag Raat Ki Raat Ko dulhan ke Saath

Suhagrat Ko Kamre Ki Light Band Thhi Aur Ladki Dulhe Ki Wait Kar Rahi thi…

Ladka Darwaja Khol Ke Kamre Mein Aya Aur Jaldi Mein Ladki Se Bola

Ladka: Jaldi Se Apne Kapde Utaro

Ladki Ne Kapde Utar Liye Aur Khub Bhadiya Tarike Se Dono Ne Sex Kiya
Sex Ke Baad Ladka Bola: Ab Jaldi Se Kapde Pahan Lo

Ladki: Kyu?, Kya Hua

Ladka: Dulha Aane Wala Hai.

Heat Wave in India, Even Mosquito needs Cool Blood

गर्मी की तो हद ही हो गयी

अब तो

मच्छर भी

कान के पास आके पूछता है भाई खून ठंडा तो है न ?

Bhartiya Railway IRCTC Ka Funny Jokes

Indian  Railways Customer Torture Corporation

Full form of IRCTC– “Iss Railway Centre se Ticket Carana” Mushkil hi nahi naamumkin hai !! :) :)

Let me answer in Hindi.
Indian Railway Chutiya Tha Chutiya rahega.

I Refuse Connectivity To Customers

Wife checks husband Mobile numbers and Birds

Wife Checks Husband Mobile and Find all Girls number Saved as:
New Bird………

Neighbour Bird

Old Bird………

Upstair Bird…

Hospital Bird…

Insurance Bird.

College Bird….

Super Market Bird

Finally She Checks her name and it was Saved as..
Angry Birds…

Kids Loves Maggi Soo Much, How can you Ban Maggi

Me: Which grains do you like best, rice, roti or pasta?

Son: Maggi

Facebook Status funny

A boy’s eyes is faster than Google

in
searching a beautiful girl in crowd
.
.
But…
.
.
.
A boy’s heart is slower than
‎#internet explorer
while proposing
girl whom he loves truly… !!!
——————————–
Boy : You Look Exactly Like My Wife….

Girl : Ohhh… What’s Your Wife’s Name?
.
Boy : I’m Not Married Yet… 😉
.
.
.
.
Moral : Learn New Methods To Propose..

——————————–

Relationship status – Helping roommate flirt with his girlfriend 

Patient following Doctors Advice in Restraunt

Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao.

Boy Friend and Girl Friend Jokes

Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho

Mr Barrack Obama and Mr Lalu Meeting

Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun". 

double meaning jokes

Suhagaraat ko PATI apni PATNI se
SEX karte hue puchhata hai..
Kya mahsoos kar rahi ho, Jaaneman?
PATNI: Kya bataaun Dear!!!
Yahi ki aaj tak main TOP-UP me hi
apna kaam chala rahi thi,
aaj se life-Time karva liya hai

GF and BF jokes on whats app

Girl friend ne khaas aapne boy friends ke liye likha:

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…

Kabhi kabhi mere dil mein,
Yeh khayaal aata hai…

Jab tu 11:30 baje so jata hai,
To agle din subah tera whatsapp
last seen at 2:30am kyun batata hai..?

Baba ji ki Kripa

Ek aadmi ki shaadi ko 20 saal ho gaye the..

Usne kabhi Patni ke hath ke bane khane ki tareef nahin ki.
baba ne salah di Patni ke khane ki tareef karo, Kripa hogi!

Baba ki salah asar kar gayi!
Ghar aate hi usne khana kha kar Parantho ki jam kar tareef ki!

Patni ne belan uthaya aur usko jee bhar kar peetne ke baad boli:
20 saal mein kabhi mere hath ke bane khane ki tareef nahi kii, aur aaj padosan ne paranthe bhej diye, to tumhe zindagi ka mazaa aa gaya!!

Ho gayi baba ki kripa… bechara husband

Girl at Medical Shop Funny

Ek sundar ladki ek dawaiyo ki dukaan ke saamne kaafi se tak khadi thi!

Bheed chhatne ka intezaar kar rahi thi.

Shop ka owner use shaq ki nazar se ghoor raha tha…

bahut der baad jab dukaan mein koi customer nahin bacha,
To wo ladki dukaan mein aayi!

Ek salesman ko dheere se ek kinaare bulaya,
Dukaan ka malik ab aur bhi jyada chaukanna ho gaya.

Ladki ne dheere se ek kagaj salesman ki aur badhaya,
aur Dheere se fusfusayi…

“Bhaiya,

Meri ek Doctor ke sath shaadi tay ho gayi hai,
Aaj unki chitthi aayi hai,
Thoda padhkar sunayenge kya?
Writing samjh mein nahin aa rahi hai!!!